By Helen Rose Fuchs Ebaugh
Ebaugh is herself an ex, having left the lifetime of a Catholic nun to develop into a spouse, mom, and professor of sociology. Drawing on interviews with 185 humans, Ebaugh explores quite a lot of function adjustments, together with ex-convicts, ex-alcoholics, divorced humans, moms with no custody in their young ones, ex-doctors, ex-cops, retirees, ex-nuns, and—perhaps such a lot dramatically—transsexuals. As this assorted pattern finds, Ebaugh specializes in voluntary exits from major roles. What emerges are universal phases of the function go out process—from disillusionment with a specific identification, to looking for replacement roles, to turning issues that set off a last determination to go out, and eventually to the production of an establish as an ex.
Becoming an Ex is a difficult and influential examine that might be of serious curiosity to sociologists, psychological healthiness counselors, individuals of self-help teams reminiscent of Alcoholics nameless and oldsters with no companions, these in company settings the place turnover has frequent implications for the association, and for somebody suffering via a job go out who's attempting to determine a brand new feel of self.
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Extra resources for Becoming an Ex: The Process of Role Exit
I remember when my parents ﬁrst told me they were going to get a divorce as if it was yesterday. ” Jacob, sixteen 3 Tell Your Child Together When the Decision to Divorce Is Made Once you have worked out the immediate issues surrounding the divorce, tell your child together about the decision to divorce. This will be difficult. You and your spouse probably have different views about why the divorce is occurring, and each of you probably have very intense feelings about each other. However, whenever possible, it is important for both parents to be present when telling your child.
Can My Divorce Be Simple? ” If a couple without children divorces, they can go their separate ways following the divorce, often without ever having to have contact with each other. However, when you have a child, it necessitates having 9 10 Making Divorce Easier on Your Child an ongoing relationship with your ex-spouse. Redeﬁning this relationship and having the responsibility for parenting your child through what is typically a very stressful time is never simple. Even though changes in laws governing divorce in recent years (for example, no-fault divorce) have made the legal process easier, even the legal issues are not simple when a child is involved.
Parental divorce can be a scary time for children, and, as a result, a child typically is concerned with what is going to happen to her. As we have already indicated, it is important for you and your spouse to encourage your child to ask questions. A major reason this is important is because children can have many misconceptions about the causes, consequences, and processes of divorce. A child may believe any or all of the following: one parent is totally to blame for the divorce, the child herself is to blame for the divorce, parents will get back together, or she will be abandoned.